Life anymore was only full of pain. A pain that always came from a scorching red mark on your left shoulder that seemed to burn all the way through out your body. It was what your leader Pien called "Some curse thing."
Yes Pien. The same leader of the organization you once belonged to when you were a child. It was the same organization that you belonged to now. Your probably thinking how could that happen well it's a terribly long story, but I sha'll tell you.
After your arrival at Miu's you told her everything asked for her help. She was more than happy to give birth to a new child. Of course you didn't tell her about the baby until the next morning. When you first arrived she just fussed over you, and asked many questions. You got to ask your fair share also. Then after spending the night you felt it was time to tell her the truth and ask for help. You were relieved, and actually happy.
The birth was going to be treacherous, but at least you had someone who understood everything to help you. She never asked you about the father. She never asked you about your past. Slowly yet surely you started to think of her as a mother, and started to share everything tell her everything. She was now family to you. Finally on a weird stormy night you gave birth. It was only right that you called your now new daughter 'storm' meaning 'storm'.
She was born with a head full of blond hair, and the prettiest little blue eyes you could see. After the baby was born Miu decided it was time to tell you a very interesting tid bit about the island you were on. For some unexplained reason the time frame was different..way out of whack from the time frame from where you came from. It was so off that a year there was probably around 4 years on the island.
You were actually more joyed by the idea then down casted. It would give you even more time to be with your daughter before you would have to return to Konoha. Over the next years on the island you spent all your time with your new prized possession. You might have hated the idea before, but after your eyes laid on the child you were stuck. She was your child..the child from you and Kakashi. Her blonde hair never changed, but with time her eyes did. She looked so much like Kakashi it was heartbreaking. It made you miss him more than anything. Every night you thought about the time you would have to tell him.
You and Miu always worried about the girl. You had no idea if she would get the killing edge or what age. You didn't even know what kind of eyes she would have. It wasn't everyday that a yuuku member crossed with a sharingan user even if he was only half.
She was given the regular yuukugan though, but with a slight change in color. The traditional streaks that were in the yukkugan weren't blue like yours, but her's were the sharingan red. It was when she turned 4 that you learned what her eyes could do. For some reason the little girl seemed to understand more than you were giving her credit for. Miu was the one who told you the news. 'storm' was able to read minds.
It was a weird thing, but not really surprising. You crossed the yuukugan which could read straight into the minds of people to tell you their fears with the sharingan which was able to read an copy any move someone made. It was sort of thrilling knowing your daughter would be very strong one day. Just a couple months after 'storm' turned 4 you decided it was time to return to Konoha. It was time to share your news. You left her in the care of Miu not wanting to take her quite yet.
The problem was you never reached Konoha. You arrived back on the Hellfire Island, but on the way back you were attacked. You were completely defenseless to the ones who attacked you, but you knew who they were exactly. You would recognize their cloaks from anywhere. That's where Akatsuki enters in. You were taken to the leader Pien, and it brought back painful memories.
When you were little and at Akatsuki Pien didn't really like you since you were just a subordinate to Orochimaru, but now he wanted you. Of course you didn't want to be there. You fought against them, but it was all futile. He knew about your child, and used that as black mail. You didn't want anything to happen to your daughter so you had no choice but to join them.
You were given that new mark, and had the curse mark from Orochimaru removed. This new mark made him have complete control over you at all times, and it hurt like hell if you ever disobeyed him. You were an outcast to the other members. Most of them knew you since at one time you use to live with them, but you hated all of them.
Pien was being a little lenient though knowing he had complete control over you he allowed you to go see 'storm' just to make sure was fine. You always left her in tears which made you in tears also. It made you feel like a horrible mother. Pien also gave you time off on your rut time. It came 4 times a year. While you were with Miu she knew exactly how to treat the rut, and gave you your own playground thing to beat the crap out of. In Akatsuki all you could do was leave, and beat the crap out of forests around.
Every time on your rut though it would bring you pain. You missed Kakashi like hell now. It didn't seem like you would be able to see him ever again. Itachi showed a lot of interest in you, and was very forceful with you. He might have been able to get a kiss or something, but you could protect yourself from him getting to far. He was becoming something of a stupid bastard.
Another year passed by quickly, and now 'storm' was 7ish, but you could only see her every year in her time. It was always painful not being there with her, and watching her grow. All of it just made you become a ruthless person. Cold inside, and very hateful. You were even worse then the old Astarael in the Shadow Village.
Well everything was going shitty since you had to work for Pien, but then it was another time for your rut. The rut came at any time it wanted to during the three months of a season. This time it came in the middle of fall, but the odd thing about it was it came during the day. It came during one of the days that Itachi was being forceful with you. It caused you to produce the passionate feeling inside, but there was no way in hell you were going to feel that with Itachi.
You punched him so hard that day that he actually went back many feet. You were gone even before he could know what happened. It was a pain trying to hold yourself together as you left the hide out. Pien having that leash on you caused the immediate pain, but asked you what you were doing. There was some sort of psychic thread between that mark you had, and you just easily told him rut.
He gave you permission to be gone for those next days, but the first day was hell. You tried to badly to change the flow of the chakra change it to anger instead of passion, but it didn't work. To survive the next couple of days you had to find someone, and there was only one person you could think of.
Not caring about Pien you raced off to Konoha. At the moment you were probably considered a missing nin, but you didn't care. You had to go to him. The passionate chakra didn't even allow you to think of anything else. All you wanted was him none of the consequences mattered to you.
~~~Tsunde profile~~~
She worried constantly about Astarael, but she gave her a little extra time. That little extra time that she gave her made Kakashi a horrible person. He was never the same after Astarael left, and it hurt Tsunde more than she would ever admit. So 2 years passed by without any word of Astarael. Tsunde finally set to work after that trying to find the place where the old woman was. Kakashi was pestering to let him look for her, but no matter what Tsunde wouldn't do that to Astarael. She needed someone to go after Astarael, and find that old lady. The problem was it couldn't be anyone close to Kakashi. It couldn't even be a ninja.
"Shizune!" Tsunde shouted when the perfect idea came.
"Yes Tsunde-sama." The girl said running back into Tsunde's office breathing hard.
"I want you to do something for me."
~~~Kakashi's Profile~~~
One year turned into 2 years all to slowly. Kakashi was getting tired of Tsunde ordering him to stay. He couldn't stand being without Astarael it was tearing him apart. He no longer slept as well as he use to. It was just like the time after Obito died, but much worse. Finally it got to much to handle so he decided he was going to go after her. He didn't care about disobeying Tsunde he had to find her. He went to sleep on the couch ready to go after Astarael in the morning.
That night thought Kakashi had a weird dream. It was filled with darkness, and the only way to get out of the darkness was to find her. He would have woken with a jolt, but he was far to tired for that. His eyes slowly opened, and he stared at the ceiling with a perplexed look on his face. He was feeling something..a little odd. It took him a few moments to notice what exactly he was feeling. It was something he thought he would never feel again. He dreaded that, but here it was in his house.
It was the passionate chakra Astarael had. It seemed to be filling his senses, and waking him up. He thought he was dreaming, and allowed his mind to allow him to feel this feeling. It was a good feeling to be able to feel again. But before he could think to much he heard a noise. His head snapped toward the door way, and for a second he thought he was staring at a ghost.
She stood there in the door way water dripping off of her body. He noticed that it was raining outside not surprising for the fall weather. He couldn't believe his eyes. He felt like he was dreaming all over again, but he wasn't. She was there standing there..waiting. She looked different from the last time he saw her, but he couldn't mistake that it was her..even though it was dark.
All he wanted was to grab her, and kiss her forever. But there was a look in her eye. Something that warned him. She still stood there as if asking permission to be there. He could only stare while his mind went over everything. Why would she be here? Where was she all this time? It didn't take his mind long to come up with a simple answer. It didn't matter.
She was there and looked to be in one piece. He could already tell why she would be there now. She was in rut, but the passionate kind of rut. He wondered what happened to her to make her this way, but he didn't want to ask. She didn't look like she wanted to answer questions. She would though in time..that is if she stayed. He pulled himself into a sitting position after awhile, and motioned toward the couch.
"Come here."
~~~Your Profile~~~
Kakashi's face was hard to read in the darkness, but your killing edge didn't care about that. You had to keep a heavy chain around the edge just to stand right there in the door. You wouldn't have come in, but it was raining outside. Your body was shivering from the cold, but you were warm. It felt like heaven seeing him again. It was like your heart grew wings, and flew away. It didn't matter that you had a child. It didn't matter that you left for two years. Kakashi was right there in front of you, and it almost made you cry.
"Come here." His voice was deep and sexy in your mind. That was because of the killing edge, but you were able to uncover what it really sounded like. It sounded strong almost confident, but held from any other emotion. He was nudging toward the couch where his feet were so you moved. You took your time coming over knowing that if you even began going fast you would attack him. You sat yourself down at his feet turned toward him. Your heart was pulsing along with all your blood.
"Kakashi.." His name sounded good between your lips. It felt like you were finally free. His finger was suddenly on your lips stopping you from saying anything else. He leaned in closer showing you his burning lust filled eyes. You couldn't hold back then you had to attack him. You had to kiss him. Your killing edge may have wanted you to, but you yourself needed to. His lips were urgent and just as needing as yours. The kiss was filled with so many emotions it's to hard to describe. It was just a kiss. The kiss that was for two lovers who hadn't seen each other..felt like they lost each other.
Your fingers were tangled in his hair same as his with your own soaked hair. The two of you were pulling closer crushing your lips together molding them together almost like hoping they would get stuck like that. Your tongues were dancing but not playing the kiss was far to deep for that. You didn't even notice that their were tears running down your face mixed with the rain. They were tears of sorrow and tears of happiness. It felt so good to finally be with him..to finally have him. You were pushing Kakashi backward before long straddling yourself on his hips while his back hit the couch. Your killing edge took over then and your hands moved fast to get your own shirt off. Just like usual Kakashi didn't sleep with his shirt so that was just one less problem.
While you fought with your drenched shirt Kakashi took his lips to your chin, and down all over. It was like his kisses were like praising you. Like when someone finally landed on the ground for traveling on the sea for many years. How they got right down on the ground and kissed it. It was the same way he was kissing your skin. You finally got your shirt off and moved to his pants while he worked on your bra. He got your bra off quickly allowing you to move down so you could take his pants off. Once they were off you took off his boxers. He was already erected up so you moved back over his hips teasing him. Of course he didn't like that all so he quickly pulled your pants and underwear off.
The two of you started another needing kiss while you stayed straddling his hips, but not moving to get him inside of you. Of course your killing edge was furiously beating against your mind, but you wanted to wait. You wanted to kiss him longer hold him closer so when he finally did thrust inside of you it would feel so damn good that you would have to scream. It worked just as you planned. You moved your lower half down a bit, and sheaved in right inside of you. The feeling was momentarily blinding and you had to scream out your moan.
The tears fell more as he started to move inside of you thrusting deeper and deeper inside of you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and kissed him long and hard. His thrusts were becoming faster and you moved with him faster pushing him deeper inside. The feeling was rising fast, and you knew soon it would explode. When it did explode your body shuddered under the weight of the pleasure. You grabbed onto Kakashi for dear life as the waves of pleasure crashed against your senses causing you to yell out. The intense pleasure ride ended soon, and you fell limply onto Kakashi's chest.
Your body moved up and down, and you had to breath the opposite of Kakashi so your stomachs wouldn't push against each other. The two of you laid there for awhile just waiting for your breath to come back. That was when your mind cleared and all your thoughts came crashing down at the same time. You knew Kakashi was going to ask. You knew that he was going to need to know everything, but could you tell him?
You stopped worrying yourself, and pulled Kakashi out of you. He moved the two of you then turning you, and flipped over so the two of you were on your sides facing each other. His head was above yours so you tilted back to look at him while your arms were wrapped under his arms and behind his back. You pulled him close to you as if you would never let him go, and just stared up at him.
He looked down at you also while his arms were wrapped around you. There was a silence, but that didn't bother you. All you cared about was the fact that you were once again in Kakashi's arms. The two of you just watched each other for awhile hearing each other breathing, and that's when more tears seemed to fall. You couldn't help it. You thought you would never see him again. He quickly cupped your face in his hands brushed the tears away with his thumbs. His eyes held so much care and love you were practically drowning in them.
"Where have you been Astarael?" He still held you while he spoke in a hushed low voice. It was a question you knew you couldn't escape. This one would probably be the hardest to answer though. It was the one question that could probably ruin the moment, but you wanted to tell him the truth had to.
"..Kakashi.." You closed your eyes then and swallowed down everything you were feeling. You didn't open your eyes yet. "I'm going to answer your questions..I'm going to tell you nothing but the truth."
You opened your eyes to look into his curiously waiting ones. "But just..listen to what I have to say before you judge me."
He gave you a questioning look wondering why he would judge you, but he had to ask again. "Where have you been?"
You sighed a deep sigh, and closed your eyes again. "I've been..with Akatsuki." Your eyes opened to watch him glare at you. His body tensed around yours, and immediately you knew it was a mistake. He didn't move though just merely glared at you harshly. "I haven't been there the entire time. I don't even want to be there..I..just..I." You didn't know how to word it and the way he was looking at you almost made you want to break down again.
"Start from the beginning." He answered his voice harsh, but he was trying to make it easier for you. You let out another breath.
"I left to go to Miu..she knows about my clan, and asked to meet me." You weren't going to blurt out about the child yet. You didn't have the guts to tell him about that yet. "I stayed with her for a year..she took care of me. I was going to come back a year..and I was almost here..but they attacked me."
His eyes changed a little, but still his glare was there. You swallowed a lump in your throat again before you began. "I tried to get away from them..from Akatsuki..but..but..they know something. They hold something against me..blackmail..I couldn't let them get their hands..on it..I allowed them to take me in, and he put me under his control. I can't escape them.."
You felt more tears building up, but you held them back. His expression changed a bit more soft, but still cautious. "What is it that they hold against you?"
You looked up immediately to his gaze and your breath quickened greatly. "I can't tell you." His glare returned. "At least not yet.."
His glare lightened to something along the lines of understanding. "Who is controlling you?"
"I can't say his name." Before he could glare again you continued quickly, "but I can write it down for you. I can tell you anything you want to know about them."
"That can wait for tomorrow, and would that even be safe?" He seemed worried about you now. It wasn't you, you were worried about. You were worried about your daughter.
"Probably not.."
"How did you escape them?" He asked meaning now. You didn't escape them yet..just got away for a bit.
"I'm not off the hook.." Just then you felt a burning pain in your shoulder, but you ignored it. "The leader allows me to leave when I'm in rut."
"How have you been getting.." He stopped then for a second probably because he saw and felt the twitch of pain go through your eyes. "through with it?" He looked at you weirdly but at the same time worried.
The pain was doubling now, and you would probably have to answer to the call soon. "I leave to an open area for awhile and just beat up things."
Your left arm suddenly tensed as another sharp pain went through it. Kakashi felt it this time since your arm pulled on his back. His eyes narrowed on you, but you still listened waited for his next question. "How come this time..your ruts different?"
"Stu.." You wanted to continue, but another pain shot through your arm this time burning hot so it lasted longer. "Can you hold on."
His eyes narrowed on you, but he seemed to give you permission. You closed your eyes, and calmed your mind sending out chakra to connect to whatever signal was coming.
"What The Hell Do you want?!" You asked the person on the other end when you noticed it wasn't Pien who was sending the call.
"Where are you at?" His voice sounded annoyed.
"It's none of your damn Business." You shouted back annoyed yourself.
"Pien wanted to know." Itachi said this time a little more warning like.
"He already knows, and he can talk to me if he wants." You were being a little stupid, but whatever. This guy annoyed the hell out of you.
"He put you under my care Astarael. Why are you in Konoha?" He was back to being annoyed.
"I'm here no thanks to your ass!"
"Are you with Kakashi?" He knew that Kakashi was the father of your baby. He probably summed up the passionate chakra, and why I probably went. It sometimes came in handy that Itachi was a prodigy. Even if he was an assy one.
"Yes."
"You can stay until tomorrow. If you even think about telling him anything I won't hesitate before killing her."
You cut the link after that, and brought yourself out of the mind thing. Kakashi was right where you left him. He was being patient, but his face was full of more questions.
"What was that?" He asked when you opened your eyes.
"A warning." Your voice sounded a little weak.
"Your going to have to leave again aren't you?" He was pained by this..so you just meekly nodded your head.
"I'm going to find away out of this Kakashi.." You promised him that, but decided to change the subject. "So I came here..this way..because of Itachi."
His eyes were narrowed, glaring, harsh. It was good none of it was toward you. "What did he do?"
"He just..kissed me, but I beat him up about that." He was still glaring, but he almost seemed relieved. There was a few moments of silence so you decided to let it out.
"Kakashi..I'm sorry for leaving..I never should have." A tear was gracefully making it's way down your cheek so you ducked your head down and rested it against Kakashi's chest. You didn't want him to see you crying anymore. "I missed you so much."
His hands were still cupping your face all this time so he gently lifted your head up to look at him. That was when you saw how truly deep you hurt him. It was there written all over his face. He wiped your tears away again before pulling your face up to give you a soft sweet kiss. It was a forgiving kiss.
"I just wish I knew why you left." His breath was warm against your face as he spoke. You looked up deep into his questioning. You wanted to tell him..so badly, but you couldn't get enough courage.
"I will tell you Kakashi.." You told him with absolute truth. "I just can't right now..I need some time."
"Will you tell me tomorrow?" He was going to give you time, but not much. You had to tell him now though. While you were tomorrow might be the only time you could.
"Yes, I will tell you tomorrow." His hands moved behind you, and pulled you closer. You rested your head against his chest, and closed your eyes a bit.
"Astarael..I missed you so damn much. It won't be easy for me to let you go again." He spoke this into your ear, and it made a smile creep across your face. It was the first smile that you had in a long time when you weren't around 'storm'.
"I know..it won't be easy for me either." You kissed his chest once, but then a second and third time. You kept kissing up his chest up his neck over his chin searching for his lips. This kiss got even deeper by the second, but it was a slow deepness that was full of care. This time when the two of you made love you took it slow. You teased each other, but in a loving way rather than a wanting needing way. It felt good and it made you feel better about telling Kakashi the news. The two of you feel asleep after a nice peaceful sleep that was filled with no worries.
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